Pointy Tongues Tell No Lies
by dr. sluice
Summary: Seras, curious about vampire kissing, asks Alucard if fangs get in the way. Alucard gives her a demonstration rather than telling. AxS


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Pointy Tongues Tell No Lies

"Master, is it hard to kiss with our fangs?" Her words came out in a whoosh, jumbled together and muttered under her breath. Seras' face colored to the likeness of her own eyes, shame embroidering her embarrassment.

Alucard, bizarre and macabre as ever, gave Seras a sliver of his sharky grin. That he could smile so widely would always be a mystery to Seras. Of course, everything with her master was a puzzle. A puzzle wrapped in a haze and sprinkled with bat droppings. That was her master, all right. "Why? Wanting to kiss someone now?"

"Maybe," she said, attempting to be coy. She was certain being coy was out of the question with Alucard. "I just wanted to know."

"I thought you would know that by now, Seras." His spectacles glinted ominously; his Mephistophelean grin widened from just a sliver to a wholly frightening teeth-baring. If she were ever impaled by those wicked canines again, Hell would have to prepare another slot.

"Well...not really," Seras sputtered, her confidence all but shattered.

"Ah, so you expect me to know that answer?"

She fell rapt with stupidity, for broaching such a ridiculous topic. They were vampires, not teenage girls that giggled under their hands. Alucard remained elusive, bearing his luminous pointed teeth. With the floppy brim of his hat hiding his brows, Seras was even more uncertain than before. So she replied with a sensible answer:

"You're centuries old, Master."

At this, Alucard's gutteral laughter echoed like a bat's screech in a cave. Oh, she was the diver and he was the shark! His circle of harpoon teeth pierced right through her dignity. His wine-colored eyes peeked over the tops of his round lenses, scrutinizing with hard conjecture and twisted amusement. "True, true," he cackled after a moment.

"So...?" She looked up expectantly.

"Would you like a demonstration?" he tilted his head back, appearing even more monstrous than before. Monstrous and terrible to the core. As she had asked was a question; he had not given her a straight answer. But she felt a strange shudder at his offer, not an unpleasant one, but a tingling in her chest as he leaned against the wall.

"What do you mean?"

Evil, taunting laughter. "You know perfectly well what I mean, Police Girl."

And before she could blink, Alucard was right there in her face, hot breath hissing through his wretched teeth. The teeth that were like the jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff. If she jumped off, she would be impaled. That was her master, after all. He tipped her chin up with one finger (more gingerly than she had expected) and he began his sloppy instructions.

His long, serpentine tongue crept too far back into her throat, and she gagged as he extracted it, just a little. It was forceful and probably not a kiss at all, more like he was trying to eat the inside of her mouth. His wormlike tongue slithered across all her teeth, the tip of it curling around of her canine for no particular reason at all. Alucard's traitorous hands glided down her back, taking in handfuls of her derriere, much to her dismay.

When she stiffened at his touch, he chuckled, sending small vibrations into their facial contact as his tongue continued to violate her mouth. Making little mewls caused him to grip tighter onto her buttocks and any attempt to tug her head away resulted in a warning nip on the edge of her lip. At first she was surprised he didn't bite harder; however, he was being careful not draw blood. How considerate of him.

He was a strange mixture of icy and fiery, his willow strand hair silky and cold under her fingertips as she wormed them in, and his mouth and tongue as hot as a furnace. Oh, he was shoveling coals onto her newly warped sense of desire.

Alucard was certainly not the kind of man (or vampire) she had dreamed about in junior high, back when she used to doodle handholding stick figures and scrawl Mrs. Whoever Was the Hunk of the Week. In fact, he was more of the antithesis of what she liked. Heroic, blue-eyed blondes with a good sense of humor and a warm personality. How more opposite could you get?

Seras almost whimpered in protest as her master released her, a thin strand of saliva connecting their lips. He used one gloved finger to swipe it from Seras' and took it onto his own tongue, mildly grossing her out. But it wasn't for the dull soreness of her lips, or the heaviness of her eyelids, Seras would have urged for more contact. She looked up at Alucard drowsily when he placed a cool pouch of medicinal blood in her hand.

"Drink up before it clots," he cackled as the shadows swallowed him up, leaving her a little empty and unsatisfied.

"Master, why do you do this to me?" Seras whined as she ladled cool blood into her moist mouth. As she finished and curled into her bed, and the lid began to whir downward, she heard a deep croon in the darkness.

_Maybe we'll try that again someday..._

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A/N: Yikes! That was my first Hellsing fic. I hope everyone was in character and all that jazz. If not, tell me so I know for next time. If there is a next time, that is. Seras was kind of weird to write, but I'm just really getting into this pairing. The scenery was kind of generic, but I suppose it was in her room. 'Cause it kind of says it in the end. But I was thinking about Alucard's teeth a lot...and I was watching the anime and I was wondering: How would Alucard kiss? So I plugged it in with my favorite pairing! Yeah!


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